your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
The maid of honor just puked.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize