hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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