he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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