Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Can I color on your dick again?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
as a side note pls kill me
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
