Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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