fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
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