The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
