Just fell off a train. Bad.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
