you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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