You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
