At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
