Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize