I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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