Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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