Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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