I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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