somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
whose parrot is this?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
