my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
