Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
