He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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