i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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