dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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