I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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