I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
be right there i have to get my cape
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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