Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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