when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
