I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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