Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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