I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Randomize
