A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment