he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize