Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions