She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
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I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
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I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!