Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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