It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
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