yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
