Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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