Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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