Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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