ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
