I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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