Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
