Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
