oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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