The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You took a bar mat shot.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
