butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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