he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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