You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
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Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
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I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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