Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I forgot how hot balto sounded
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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