nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
