I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
