I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
