Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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