Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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