if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
