stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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