the new term for farting is butt boxing.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
