Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
