my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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