There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
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I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
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I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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