i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
