I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
