i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
