Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
