i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize