ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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